Straight from a Grievously Joyous Heart
By Lisa Elliott

My husband and I often share in our ministry to the grieving, (including at the Grieving Parents Retreats we facilitate twice a year) that pain and joy can coexist. I have experienced it. As recently as August of this year.

I wrote in my blog last month, “Straight from an Influential Heart”, about the long-anticipated opportunity of serving God at Fair Havens Family Campground and Conference Centre as an entire family and how much I was looking forward to being together. Not only was it the first time where all of us were together in one place for an extended period of time. But, it was also the first time, ever, in seventeen years, that we were together as an entire family on the anniversary of the day my son, Ben, went to be with Jesus after his yearlong battle with leukemia (August 12, 2008-August 18, 2009).

I described the experience to a friend as being like a dream come true. And, that, after the most fabulous week together, it ended all too soon. Leaving me with that feeling you get when you wake up from a dream you wished would never end. And, how once you wake up to face reality, wish you could fall asleep into that dream again.

Not only was our week full of rich moments of connection with people appreciating the preaching ministry of my husband, the worship ministry led by my son (with the help of my daughter), and my ministry to the women who attended the Garden Party where I shared of the importance of investing in the next generation (see: Straight from an Influential Heart). It was so much more. It was the unexpected ministry to my own heart in moments that unexpectedly came my way.

Those unexpected moments came in many spontaneous ways throughout the week. It landed in my home upon the arrival of my oldest daughter and her family of six, having made the 24 hour trek by car from Manitoba to Ontario after accommodation plans had changed. Unexpected moments walked in every morning when my son woke early with his baby girl and came to our room for coffee while his wife and son got a bit more much-needed rest. It was seeing God turn the sadness of two of our grandchildren not wanting to participate in the children’s program into a blessing by allowing me the joy and privilege of providing care for them myself. Seeing the two of them go from being virtual, distant cousins to become the best of friends put a smile on my heart. It came as I sat on the observation deck while my children and their spouses interacted with one another on the Pickleball court or the beach volleyball court. It was time spent playing in the sand at the beach surrounded by all six of my grandchildren for the first time ever. It was having any one of my grandchildren at any given time come and nestle into my lap unprompted. It was late night laughter during board games (even though I was unashamedly beat out by my grandkids). It was the pride that welled up in my soul when, in attending a wrap up celebration of the kids’ program witnessing my oldest grandson win the “Steadfast” award. It was hearing the resounding glee of grandchildren catching sunfish with their Papa. It was walks and talks and mealtime chatter and the joy of simply being together.

It was spending some unexpected time alone in the dark, holding my youngest granddaughter in my arms on the eve of the anniversary of my son, Ben’s death. Thinking I was merely helping my daughter-in-law out turned into a rich blessing as memories flooded my soul of our last few hours together on this earth before he was promoted to his heavenly home. It was the pain and joy we experienced the next day as we all set aside intentional time to remember as a whole (broken) family. Sharing stories about our Ben with our grandkids and two in-laws who never met him. Introducing a “Best-Ball-for-Ben” hole during a round of golf in his memory. Then it was tucking away all the beautiful moments amid teary “see you next times” as our week came to a close.

Tears and laughter. Heartache and joy. Pain and pleasure. Challenges and blessings. All mingling together in moments I will treasure forever.

I entered the week knowing it may be a once in a lifetime experience. However, I didn’t want to go into it with such high expectations that I left feeling disappointed. As I’ve often said, “expectations are premeditated disappointments.” I told my husband before the week began that I, therefore, wanted to make sure I was present in every moment. Not wishing any moment away. Not being in some situation thinking I should be in another. Rather, living life in the moment. Taking it all in. Savouring each blessing. Hurdling each challenge. And watching God work His will, even in more painful moments. Like Mary, I “treasured up all these things and pondered them in [my] heart” (Luke 2:19, NIV). Mission accomplished!

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Need a little extra encouragement? Discover more inspirational blogs by Lisa Elliott, Straight from the Heart.

About this Contributor:

Lisa Elliott is an inspirational speaker and award-winning author of The Ben Ripple, Dancing in the Rain, and A Ministry Survival Guide. She’s also a writer for Just Between Us Magazine, theStory, and Good Ground. She and her husband, David, have four children (three on earth, one in heaven) and serve the Lord together in Stratford, ON, Canada.